Being an author is a tiring life.
You can read all about the unfiltered truths inside being an author after the release of my “Diary of an Author” book coming in 2018 or in mid-2019 depending on the span of the diary. Yes, it’s a true diary of my life as an author and the hardships I had to go through to be the author I am today.
Many readers requested the diary in 2015 before I even published a single book. In 2017, more readers requested the diary. But due to the drama of January 2018, I pulled the silent release of “Diary of an Author” from Wattpad and decided that the book deserves a true publisher who will do its publication justice. By justice, I mean spread the gas that will set this diary into a a blazing inferno that will hopefully never get the book removed from the internet as long as the internet exists. The Diary of an Author will not be published by another half-baked kid on a computer trying to use my success as an author, and other authors’ successes, as a stepping stone to gain internet fame. That’s what has happened to disable my diary’s planned release for this year. The drama was all too real and it hasn’t ended … yet.
The Diary of an Author will reveal the true reasons I write: to escape the violence of being in an abusive friendship where I was being verbally abused, degraded and demeaned by someone I was naive (and ignorant) in trusting, and writing was the tool I used to escape as much as I could from the violent relationships I survived from the last ten years on top of the violence I had suffered at the hands of my family during my entire childhood. That childhood included being beaten up in a school playground because I was different, and not even because I looked more “Caucasian” as a child with brown hair than I did as a black-haired “Asian”.
Yes, someone’s actually going around lying that what happened to me happened to her. I have the scars on my abdomen to prove it was me who was beaten up and she or he just stole my life story. That’s the final reason I wrote this Diary of an Author: To tell the final truth of my life and try to smother the many lies and rumors people who are threatened by my success tried to use to make me invisible. I’m not invisible anymore, and I will no longer sit in a corner and stay quiet like a wall flower. I wasn’t a quiet wall flower as a child or a teenager, and now that I’m an adult, I’m even less so.
I’m only twenty nine years old and I’ve only been dating since I was 18 years old, but I’ve gain wisdom and life experiences as if I’ve been in the military, gone overseas to war, and home with PTSD. I seriously think pretending my past didn’t exist so 3 people (or 10) can lie about me easier will make me a better writer or a better woman. Writing this diary will only make things better for me in the long-run.
While life has been hard on me, writing has been the easy part…except when I was told for 3 years by a, now ex friend, that I needed to tone down my writing. Um…excuse me? Tone my writing down? Who am I writing for? Six year olds or 13 year olds? My books don’t need to be censored like a Sailor Moon 1999s episode so someone who doesn’t want to see my life story and the blood that went with it can sleep better at night. It wasn’t their nights that were filled with death threats at the age of 5 years old. And it wasn’t them who got raped at 19 years old. So explain to me why I should tone my shine down? So someone out there doesn’t get a sunburn? Get sunscreen or just stay out of my sunshine. If a teenager can swallow a book I write where kids get kidnapped in wars, adults can handle reading that I, a 29 year old author got raped as a 19 year old and didn’t stop writing.
More of the diary coming soon.